#tw: caronavirus

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

I Didn’t Die So Hi Again

I guess we’re doing a life update post.

So this year has been... bad for most people and I am not making this for pity likes. Everyone deserves a damn hug after these past six months. But it’s more to give an update on where things are at for me and this blog. 

Let’s start with last week’s elephant: I got COVID. I was on my couch, fatigued, sitting upright to protect my airways, and too fever-y to do anything for a good 7 days. I still have some coughing and some tiredness, but today I’m finally getting back to a relatively normal day. 

But it’s not the only thing to happen to me. Right around when the pandemic started, all but one of my freelance jobs folded. Obviously no one was hiring so I just coped. I dove head first into fanfiction, tumblr, streaming all to keep my mind off the fact I was barely making any money and there wasn’t much I could do about it. Jobs started opening up again about two weeks ago, though, so I need to change things up. Especially because I have some pretty big life events on the horizon. 

So let’s run down how that effects y’all, my favorite fandom buddies who warm my heart every day by loving my dorky stuff <3 

Luckily, I hope for not too much to change about the blog. I will try to put some time aside on Sundays to do a backlog so it keeps running without me on the weekdays. My response time to things will probably slow because I can’t be on Tumblr during the day, I need to be either looking for jobs, applying, or (hopefully soon) just doing said job. But I will take some time during dinner cooking to check out how awesome you lovely folks are. 

Streaming will probably be about the same, with a little more goofiness and chill factor since I don’t have the brain cells to be as uptight about it all. That might be for the best, honestly. I only had creative stuff to do so I got really obsessive and tightly wound about a lot of this.

My fanfiction, of all my creative projects, won’t be so lucky. 

I put a lot of time into them, which is great, but with what my life needs right now, they need to get knocked down quite a few pegs. Of course I’ll still work on them with I can, along with any other creative ideas I have. But for what my life needs? It’s just not sustainable. I wish that was different, but it’s not. 

Anyway, I’m just happy to be in working order again and I will try to start posting again today. or, at least reblogging some awesome things.

If you want to do anything to support my ill ass, 100% just stop by and say hi during my Fallout: New Vegas stream tonight at 7 PM Eastern US Time. Knowing people care that I’m not dead and support this new “get a job” trek I’m on is all I need. I’ve been having a blast playing on hardcore mode and doing everything wrong (I have most of the waypoints but just finally did like the tutorial mission... 5 hours in. I’m committed to the Wanderer thing, okay?)

Oh yeah, and now that I’m not sick I can say: support Black Lives Matter. I’ll try to reblog something with better links than my half-dazed and still recovering butt can find later. 

Thank y’all for existing and liking my dorkiness. It means the world to me and you all impress me with how awesome and creative and sweet and kind you are. Y’all make my heart so happy <3

Happy Monday and I’m stoked to be back :) 

[confusedboo]

Back at college anddddd

There were 4 groups but one left as I took a picture. Because disease clearly doesn't exist. Its midnight. No one needs to sleep. Their the center of the universe all that matters is them. Clearly.

[x688plsloveme]

I started to feel light-headed and I had to lay down on the floor or I might've fainted. I got BIG scared that I caught Ms Rhona somehow but after researching a bunch I figured out that is not a symptom and it's probably because I haven't had any water in like 3 days

[largesunglasses]

Today wasn't a great day.

I decided yesterday I was happy with the push back date of non-essentials going back to work. Then yesterday's death toll was higher than Monday and today's was higher than yesterdays. I had to talk myself in to being happy with the date even though I still thought it was too soon. I'm not a professional well I am a professional over thinker like most others. I really hope if the numbers go up again Baker rethinks it. There's nothing I can do but try and not think about it.

I think I'm going to do my mini weights workout and take a bahshower and hopefully get some goodish sleep and wake up feeling a bit better tomorrow.

[fuzzy-shaark]

Petition to name all the kids conceived during quarantine Carona Critters

[reesesxpieces]

Being cooped up has me Netflix binge watching and ‘On My Block’ has me like... 👀

[jade-island-lives]

So, I’m writing a scene in Oil and Blood currently where the scene describes Aster’s weaknesses. Some of it involves junk food like popcorn and stuff like that. 

As I was writing I remembered the last time I had popcorn. Barely a year ago at a movie theater, before the lockdown. 

I started craving it, found a box of it in my cupboard, popped some, poured me a glass of Coke with ice and just...

It was delicious, of course it was. But the best part was that it brought back those memories of the movie theatres. The movies that inspired so many of my stories and ideas, the times I spent with my family and friends. It was all so bittersweet. 

Writing is some powerful stuff, isn’t it?

[d-linkroutersupport]

carona virus updates visit website

[ruckis-rocks]

The last time I somewhere publicly I swear to god I got so angry with humanity because we're all supposed to be in quarintine right?  My was driving and I saw like a whole fucking group of people walking together, like legit I was so mad I wanted to lean out the window and shout "NICE SOCIAL DISTANCING FUCKHEADS!!!"  Like I woulda been fine with it had it been like two people, but no, this fucking group had like 12 different people in it I'm not even exagerating.  This is why this dumbass country needs to go into lockdown already. Trump do your fucking job and issue a lockdown, not just a fucking quarintine.  Iswfg it is NOT that hard to sit the fuck down and do absolutely nothing, but this dirt country filled with nothing but social monkeys seems to think it is.

[charsawdeath]

The Graduating Classes Of 2020 Are The Kids Of 9/11

Now that the virus hit all graduations of this year are cancelled..

It's sad and spooky

Mum just told me about this tonight

[bursting-at-the-seems]

My step dad (former but still close to me) and his wife are in covid trouble.

They didn’t get vaccinated. I know, they should have. They now know that too. His wife (not my mom) is now In the hospital on a ventilator with covid.

He is beside himself. Worried. Waiting on his test results and showing the same symptoms she was before she got really sick.

I am worried for them. I still call this man dad. He is my family. I don’t want anything to happen to him.

I am angry at them. Angry that they didn’t get vaccinated when they could have. Angry that the choice they made was selfish on multiple levels.

The fact that they didn’t get vaccinated and they could have given it to other people as carriers.

The fact that they didn’t get vaccinated to protect themselves

The fact that they didn’t get vaccinated and now I am worried about them. That I may have to mourn them. That I may have to face the reality that so many people have had to horrible face.

I’m angry.

The last reason I know is selfish. It’s more about me then it is about them or the world.

But I love them. And the fact that I may lose them because if a stupid choice to not get vaccinated makes me angry.

But being angry won’t change anything now.

Being angry won’t cure his wife or make his covid test come back negative.

They both know they messed up.

I just don’t want to loose them.

I am sad, I am worried, I am angry.

I want to fix it all but outside of praying that it all turns out okay there isn’t anything that I can do.

I just don’t want to see a man who has been a father to me for 24 years die.

I need the world to stop for a moment.

I need to hit pause and pretend that this is fine.

I need to be able to fix it.

And I need to accept that there is nothing I can do but take this bit by agonizing bit.

[bibbity-bobbity-boo-ya]

Fuck  the Coronavirus

rant, feel free to ignore

everything is shut down, no flights anywhere and while I hoped people stranded would be able to get home I was largely happy that everyone is doing their part to try and flatten the curve. but last night my grandma died. and my dad can’t get to her. 

there are not flights anywhere shes halfway around the world and we can’t say good-bye. 

it wasn’t because of COVID-19, she has been on a ventilator for two years are multiple strokes and dementia. i saw her this winter break at my cousin's wedding, she could not take care of herself at all. for almost all of my high school she (and my grampa) was with us and we took care of them. i made sure she ate her meds every morning and night. she never really knew me, she knew i was my dads daughter but she only really remembered my dad, his sisters and my cousins that she used to live with. 

it’s weird i know she’s more comfortable now and I'm happy, but.. its not fair

years ago my aunt, (my dads little sister) died in a car crash and he wasne’t able to go to the funeral 

the same things has happened again

i hope she’s happy and eating all the popcorn she could wish for

i hope we can find flights soon

[largesunglasses]

I've probably posted this before but in September when I went with my friend to Salem we did one of those walking tours. The gentleman leading the tour talked about seeing things or smelling things and it could be someone who's passed letting their presence be known.

I know I often post about "smelling New Hampshire". I can't tell you what the actual smell is. I've even bought multiple candles from the next town over from where my grandparents summer house was in hopes it would be the smell. I used to just take it in and stand or sit in one spot inhaling over and over for as long as I could.

Since then when I smell it I think about the tour. I've been extra anxious like most people right now. The thought of going back to work and all the prep we will have to do to meet new guidlines. The thought of customers also following the new rules we will have in place. The terror I have of Memorial Day weekend and how many customers we will possibly have. I hope people are smart and dont just rush and I get making money is good but the thought of the store being packed frightens me. I know at some point we will have to open back up and the figures MGH came out with are scaring the shit out of me.

So tonight when I was getting ready to go out on the back deck so my mom could trim my hair( it is way too long and it's curlyish so it's hard to tell if it's uneven) I stopped and smelt New Hampshire. I smiled and stood there inhaling. It almost felt like someone was wrapping me up in a big hug for a few moments. I'll never take that smell for granted.

[confusedboo]

Its grown.

God i'm terrified for classes

Back at college anddddd

There were 4 groups but one left as I took a picture. Because disease clearly doesn't exist. Its midnight. No one needs to sleep. Their the center of the universe all that matters is them. Clearly.

[charsawdeath]

Florida here our graduates are not allowed to graduate anyways sorry forgot to add

The Graduating Classes Of 2020 Are The Kids Of 9/11

Now that the virus hit all graduations of this year are cancelled..

It's sad and spooky

Mum just told me about this tonight

[largesunglasses]

.